Every Pearl Begins as a Frustrated Oyster

Posted by Michelle Chappel on September 18, 2013 in True Self | 25 comments

When the call to be your true self begins, it’s not like a big arrow descends from the sky with a voice bellowing: “Go this way my child, all is well.”  Instead, you often feel grumpy, frustrated, empty, and ready to pull your hair out.

Take “Anne,” for example, a small quiet woman who used to drag herself into my weekly Reinventing Yourself workshop after spending all day at a job she hated. One night she raised her hand to speak. “Do you know why I became a dental hygienist?” Anne asked. I shook my head. “My mother wanted me to be like my older sister. Do you know why my sister became one?” I shook my head again. “Because she didn’t know what she wanted to do on career day in high school and the girl sitting next to her said, ‘Hey, why don’t you become a dental hygienist?’ A few months later, my sister married a wealthy dentist and never had to work again. I, on the other hand, have been doing it for thirty years.”

Anne never invented herself in the first place. She’s not the only one. Many of us aren’t leading genuine lives.

The call comes to wake us up.  It takes courage to unravel our true selves from layers of conditioning and false beliefs. Creating an authentic life requires us to take the hero’s journey.  

Have you ever seen “The Wizard of Oz” or the original “Star Wars” movie? Like Dorothy Gale and Luke Skywalker, you already have what you’re looking for; you just don’t know it yet. Dorothy always had the power and Luke could always tap into the force, but they could only discover their true abilities by being tested on the hero’s journey.  The same is true for you.  

When Judy Garland sang “Somewhere over the Rainbow,” she immortalized the bittersweet beauty of our longing for a better life. Remember how Dorothy walked around her uncle’s farm not knowing what to do with herself?  She felt restless, like she didn’t belong somehow.  She tried to talk with her only friends—the farm hands—but no one really had time for her.  

Similarly, Luke Skywalker was just an ordinary boy working on his uncle’s farm at the beginning of the original “Star Wars” movie. He was bored out of his mind as he watched those two suns set on his dry and desolate planet. He desperately wanted to leave, but his uncle refused to let him go. Luke felt frustrated, hopeless, and lost.  

When I was a psychology professor, I felt empty and confused. I got terrific teaching evaluations and published in the best journals in my field, but I wasn’t happy.  I had no idea I wanted to be a rock-n-roll star yet.

What about you?  Do you feel antsy, stuck, or bored?  Are you sad, angry, or disappointed? Do you have a dream on the back burner that’s heating up? That’s your true calling trying to get your attention. 

Take the time to listen. Turn off the TV, unplug from the Internet (after you finish reading this blog, of course), put down that alcoholic beverage, and face the fact that something isn’t working in your life. Does it involve your job? An intimate relationship? Finances? Your social life? Your physical health? Your creative self-expression? Your spiritual development? Your home? Something else?

Try to view what’s happening in your life as an opportunity. Yes—even if it’s a stretch.  What possible pearl could your frustration turn into? Realize your discomfort is trying to tell you something you need to know to alter your life. Relax. You’re in good company and already on your way! Love to hear your thoughts.