Valentine’s Day: The Perfect Day to Love Yourself
Happy Valentine’s Day! Of all of the days of the year, this is the best one to take a moment to love yourself. Many people are single, some of us settled for less, and a few “lucky” folks thrive in good relationships. What makes the difference? In my experience, true love comes knocking at your door when you stop looking for it outside of yourself, and focus on accepting yourself for who you are.
For example, Gina was a frustrated receptionist who took a creativity workshop from me because she didn’t like her life but didn’t know what to do about it. She collected stuffed animals and watched “Beauty and the Beast” over and over again. Her boyfriend forced her to give all of her toys and dolls away. Gina started to like herself the way she was while taking my workshop. The whole class applauded the day she announced that she had ditched him.
What Gina did took a lot of courage. She couldn’t even speak up during the first six weeks we met because she felt like a “freak” for loving her stuffed animals so much. She’s not alone. Many people who take my workshops—when they are being honest with themselves—don’t think they fit in so well, either.
They don’t like their jobs as much as everyone else seems to. Or they’re not as happy with their marriages as they thought they would be. Or they’re not sure what to do with themselves now that they’re retired, even though they were looking forward to it for so many years. They feel odd or “off” somehow like something is wrong with them. But that’s how the calling to be your true self begins. You don’t feel like you belong because you’re stuck in the wrong relationship, the wrong job, or the wrong town.
The more Gina embraced her “inner weirdo,” the happier she became, and the more friends she made in class. She became a regular chatterbox. She eventually left her boring job to become a kindergarten teacher. A few months later I ran into Gina at a local church. We waved madly at each other from across the hall. I noticed a young man holding her hand and did a double-take. It was Joe, another student from our class! He had witnessed Gina’s transformation and liked what he saw. They’d been going out ever since.
This once shy little girl had grown up into a vibrant woman. Not only had she found a career that fit her true passion, but she found a new boyfriend who appreciated her for who she was. They are now married.
To find true love, zero in on your true self. When you affirm the parts of yourself that make you unique, like-minded people begin to show up in your life. Gina’s first move towards authenticity was to enroll in my creativity workshop. What can you do to be more genuine and self-accepting? Maybe you could sign up for an improv class, or take up drawing, or join a hiking group. Following your heart increases your chances of meeting people with similar interests. When you reveal rather than conceal who you are, you allow true love to find you.
Couple beach shot by Shmuel Thaler.
Follow Michelle!